What to expect in Therapy?

One of the most common questions I hear, especially from people new to therapy is:

“Is this normal?”

Whether it's your first time or you're starting over with a new therapist, it’s completely natural to wonder:

• “Is this how therapy is supposed to go?”

• “Should I be feeling this way?”

• “Is my therapist doing it right?”

  
  

Therapy can bring up big emotions, unfamiliar territory, and occasionally some awkward moments. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Actually, it often means you're doing the work and are engaged in your healing process.

Let’s break it down and talk about what’s typically part of the process, and what’s not.

What to expect in therapy?

1. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, while talking hard things

Talking about things you don’t usually say out loud, will probably make you feel vulnerable, raw, or uncomfortable at times. Sometimes you'll feel lighter afterward; other times, it might feel heavier before it gets better. That’s all part of emotional processing. Therapy is meant to stretch your emotional muscles. That doesn't mean it should be traumatizing, but it might not feel like a casual coffee chat either.

2. Moments of quiet

   
   

If you find yourself sitting in silence with your therapist, it’s okay. Silence isn’t awkward in therapy; it’s often intentional. It gives you space to think, feel, and process. A good therapist will let silence be part of the session, not rush to fill it. Sometimes the most important shifts happen when nothing is being said out loud.

3. Not sure what to say

   
   

You don’t need to come in with a perfect agenda. Some sessions feel like breakthroughs; others might feel a bit here and there or just slow. Therapy isn’t a performance; it’s more like emotional weather.

4. Feeling worse before you feel better

   
   

Unpacking emotional wounds can bring things to the surface and it’s normal to feel a little heavier after some sessions, sometimes. Think of it like a yearly house clean up, you pull everything out before you can organize it.

5. It’s a team effort

   
   

Good therapy feels collaborative. You should feel like you're working with your therapist, not being talked down to. They’re not there to "fix" you, they're there to support you in fixing yourself.

Therapy should feel safe, have certain boundaries, and be humane. If you’re unsure, bring it up. That’s part of the healing process too.

When can a therapist end therapy?

This is a tricky one, and as a therapist, I want to say this clearly: it’s always our job to end therapy ethically and respectfully with care and clarity. But yes, there are times when a therapist may choose to end the work.

Here’s when that might happen:

1. You’ve met your goals

If you’ve worked through what you came in for, we might talk about slowing down, spacing out sessions, or even ending for now. This is a positive, healthy ending, one we’ll talk through together.

2. I’m not the right fit

If I realize you’d benefit from a different kind of support (e.g., addiction treatment, eating disorder care, or medical support). I’ll bring that up and ask you to see someone who’s better equipped.

3. Therapeutic relationship breakdown

If there's been a serious rupture that can’t be repaired like repeated missed sessions, disrespectful behavior, or ethical concerns, I may choose to end therapy.

4. Safety or ethics are compromised

If boundaries are being repeatedly crossed (on either side), or if the space no longer feels safe, the therapy may need to end. I’ll always aim to do this with professionalism and compassion.

It’s important to note that ending therapy, is not meant to feel like an abandonment. It should feel like a conversation, a conversation that both sides must have civilly.

Therapy is complex, human, and layered and like any relationship, it should include respect, clarity, and care.

If something doesn’t feel right, say something. Your views are always welcome. Together we can work to understand what’s happening.