9 steps to heal your Anxious Attachment

That twisting in your stomach when a text goes unanswered. The panic, the overthinking, the imagining of worst-case scenarios that follows.

You try staying calm, but your heart races anyway.

You tell yourself it’s okay, but the silence feels loud.

You may know that feeling.

You crave closeness, but when you finally have it, you still feel unsure.

Do they really care? Will they stay? What if they leave?

Anxious attachment is the fear that people you care about will leave, reject, or stop loving you even without clear signs that they will. Because of this fear, you may seek constant reassurance, worry excessively about your relationships, or feel like you’re "too much".

The following are 9 simple yet powerful steps to heal your Anxious Attachment:

1. Build a strong inner sense of self:

Learn who you are outside of relationships and develop a stable identity. Your worth is not determined by someone else's presence.

2. Develop secure friendships:

Practice emotional safety and trust in platonic relationships to strengthen emotional regulation. Learn how safety feels in small, honest connections.

3. Create space between emotion and reaction:

Breathe, pause and reflect before acting on fears of abandonment or rejection. Your reaction does not need to be your reality.

4. Journal your triggers and patterns:

Sit with yourself and write what hurts. Notice how the patterns begin to appear, increase your self-awareness by tracking what activates your anxious attachment and slowly start to shift.

5. Reparent your inner child:

Offer yourself the comfort, stability, and validation you may not have received growing up. Tell your younger self: "I'm here now. I've got you".

6. Practice mindful detachment:

Allow others the space to be themselves without constantly fearing loss. Not because you don't care, but because you are learning not to cling. You are safe even in the safe in between.

7. Cultivate self-trust:

Work on believing that you can handle discomfort without needing constant reassurance. You are resilient, you've survived every wave so far. You can trust that you'll be okay, no matter what happens.

8. Avoid seeking constant validation:

Turn inward and learn to validate your own feelings and experiences first. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask; "What do I need right now? let your own voice answer first.

9. Set emotional boundaries:

Understand what is yours to carry and what belongs to others. Boundaries protect the warmth of true connections and brings clarity.

Become your own safe place.

If these words resonate with you, then know that Therapy will help you carry your weight with you and that you are not alone. Healing is just one step away.