10 Self-Care 'Gems' you'll want in your Mental Wellness Jar

Don't just fill your schedule; fill your life with care, connection, and meaning because being busy isn't the goal; meaningful care for yourself and others is.

In an overly connected world, it’s easy to prioritize productivity and performance over presence and self. But true well-being doesn’t come from doing more, it comes from bringing intentional focus on what truly matters. As a psychotherapist, I often help people shift from surviving to truly living and one metaphor I return to often is the Mental Wellness Jar; a simple yet powerful reminder to consciously fill our lives with the practices, people, and pauses that support, center, and restore us.

Let’s explore ten essential layers you can gradually and intentionally add to your life—layers that ground and grow you, enriched with practices that nourish your mind and emotions:

1. Self-Compassion:

The foundation of mental wellness, self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook, it’s about treating yourself like someone you care about. This involves being kind when you fail, recognizing that struggle is part of being human, and not beating yourself up for feeling overwhelmed.

Being kind to yourself, especially in moments of struggle.

Practice Tip: When your inner critic gets loud, ask: “What would I say to a friend in this same situation?” Then say that to yourself.

2. Emotional Regulation:

Emotions rise and fall like waves; learning to ride them is part of living life, fully. It’s not about never feeling anxious, sad, or angry; it’s about learning to manage those emotions without being swept away. This means developing coping strategies, naming your feelings, and riding the wave rather than resisting it. Allow your emotions to exist without letting them control your actions.

Practice Tip: Use the "Name it to Tame it" technique; label what you’re feeling (e.g., “I’m feeling anxious”) and notice how that simple act begins to calm the nervous system.

3. Meaningful Relationships:

Human connection is a powerful buffer against depression and anxiety. Prioritize relationships that are reciprocal, safe, and nurturing. Let go of connections that drain you or require you to shrink yourself.

Practice Tip: Ask yourself: Who makes me feel seen and safe? Spend more time with them.

4. Cognitive Flexibility:

What we think influences how we feel, but not all thoughts are facts. Learning to challenge distorted thinking and adopt more balanced thoughts is central to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Challenge unhelpful thoughts and embrace new perspectives.

Practice Tip: Notice your automatic thoughts, then ask: Is this thought helpful or harmful? Is it 100% true?

5. Purpose and Values:

Live in alignment with your core values; whether that’s creativity, kindness, justice, or growth creates a deep sense of meaning. This isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about micro-actions that reflect what you care about.

Practice Tip: Identify your top 3 values. Then reflect: Did my day reflect these values? If not, how can tomorrow look different?

6. Mindful Awareness:

Be present in this moment. Notice what is, without judgment because anxiety often lives in the future, and regret lingers and lives in the past. Mindfulness invites us to come home to the present not to escape pain, but to meet it with curiosity and gentleness.

Practice Tip: Try this: Name 3 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, and 3 things you can feel right now. You’re back in your body.

7. Play and Curiosity:

We don’t grow out of joy, exploration, or play, we just forget how vital they are. Your inner child still needs you to engage in activities like doodling, dancing, hiking, or exploring new ideas. Play is how we reconnect with joy, spontaneity, and possibility.

Practice Tip: Block off one hour a week for something that has no goal, just pure uninterrupted delight.

8. Boundaries:

Healthy boundaries are a sign of self-respect. They show others and remind you, what is and isn't okay. Love yourself enough to say no, and protect your time, energy, and emotional space. Setting boundaries can be challenging, but living without them is even harder.

Practice Tip: Next time you feel resentful, ask: What boundary is being crossed here? What needs to change?

9. Stillness and Silence:

In a world full of constant noise, silence is not laziness—it’s a practice where clarity begins to emerge. Make space for quiet moments that restore your mind.

Practice Tip: Begin or end your day with 5 minutes of stillness. Just sit, breathe, and notice.

10. Sleep and Recovery:

Rest is not a reward you earn by burning out, it's a necessity for a well-functioning brain and balanced emotions. Deep rest resets your body and brain. Without it, everything else crumbles. Rest is productive, prioritize physical rest to recharge emotionally and cognitively.

Practice Tip: Turn off screens an hour before bed, make sleep sacred, protect it like you would a loved one.

Don’t just fill your time, fill yourself.

I hope you now understand the importance of this metaphor and why it reminds us that meaningful change doesn't have to happen all at once. Even the smallest step, just one thoughtful layer in your mental wellness jar, can create a ripple effect.

Now, begin to fill your jar with the things that ground you and help you grow. Slowly, you’ll begin to feel more whole, more you.

Use the reflections above as your guide. And if you ever need support, we're just a message away.

Book your appointment on Clarity Reboot, there's so much more to you, and I'm here to help you discover it.